An August start to the season is about as sensible as an ejectorseat on a helicopter when our clubs are forced earlier and earlier into European action.
It's the ejectorseat, however, that will really catch would-be thieves attention, self-armed and rigged to go off if unapproved cheeks make contact (as shown in the video below).
The BBC is reporting on a "top-secret phone" developed by a 40-person strong ejector-seat technology company -- IA Technology -- from Hereford England.