Deep down it is aware of it, that it is doesn't really exist. But it wants to exist. So it's more like a thief in a house who is trying to hide all the time, trying to protect himself.

自我并不存在，但它想存在下来，所以特别像一个想一直藏在屋子里的小偷，想去保护它自己。

youdao

During the day they would swim down deep, or hide in cuts along the Banks, but when the sun was newly risen they came to the surface.

白天它们沉在水底，或者在岸边潜伏，但是在太阳初升时它们会浮到水面。

youdao

Deep Down and Dirty CIA Headquarters Langley, Virginia BUSH: You see the enemy, they like to hide, they think they can hide, but we know better.

BBC